


The hottest one shot

by TannieSpokie



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, Hot, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:48:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28943226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TannieSpokie/pseuds/TannieSpokie
Summary: Waverly tries to host a cooking show. Emphasis on tries.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	The hottest one shot

"To make a fine chilli one requires both heat and heart."

"One heat and heart package at your service ma'am." Nicole says with a smirk from behind Waverly. The brunette stiffens in front of the camera. "Babe, I'm live." She whispers from the side of her mouth, trying to keep her composure as she continues to smile at the camera. 

"You sure are alive! I mean last night you were so alive that…" Waverly turns around and stuffs a chilly into Nicole’s mouth, preventing her from completing her sentence. The redhead starts to frown, but her face quickly morphs into a grimace. 

"Ah, ah, ah! My mouth burns like Satan's…" She starts to say, but Waverly interrupts her again. 

"Seitan! Yes, the basis for a hearty vegan chilli!" Waverly says through a tight lipped smile directed at the camera. 

Nicole frowns at her fiancées odd behavior, but then her tongue starts going numb from the chilli, causing her to fumble around desperately for any source of water. 

She finally finds a filled glass on the counter next to the pot infront of Waverly. She glugs it down greedily, expecting her thirst to be quenched. 

Unfortunately, the drink she consumed was very much NOT water. She starts gagging, then she spits out the substance. "Vinegar?!"

"Yes, excellent suggestion Nicole! Adding just a spoonful of vinegar to chilli can really brighten up your final product, giving it a full, rounded taste!" Waverly tells the audience proudly, her finger raised as if she were teaching a bunch of fourth graders important life lessons. 

In the background, Wynonna can be seen entering the frame. She goes straight for the whiskey bottle standing below the cabinet to the right of Waverly.

Only when she has a firm grip on the bottle does she notice Nicole still experiencing a coughing fit from her vinegar burned throat. "What's happening with Haughtstuff?" She asks Waverly, who is still smiling at the camera. 

The brunette's one eye starts to twitch as she answers. "Thanks for your question, Wynonna. The hot stuff gets mixed in with the rest of the ingredients. One cannot have a chilli without the hot stuff!" Waverly says, pointing a finger towards the camera to emphasize the importance of what she is saying. 

From behind her Wynonna gives her an odd look."Baby girl, if this is another attempt at spicing up your love life, please spare me the details. We all know how you have the hots for Haughtstuff. " She says, causing Waverly to stiffen visibly, as if constipated. The brunette's face turns a shade of crimson, like that of someone who has had one too many chillies. Nicole's current facial colour can also be used for reference. 

"Ha ha… I can't help but have the hots for a good chilli! Chilli is the hottest." Waverly tells the audience, laughing awkwardly.

A still very much choking Nicole can then be seen swiping the whiskey bottle from an unsuspecting Wynonna. The redhead then takes a swig and one can visibly see her face relax at the both cooling and calming effect of the amber liquid. 

Noticing her precious bottle has been stolen, Wynonna moves to grab it back. However, she struggles greatly to pry it from the hands of the thirst stricken Nicole. "Let go, Haught! Or you will burn in hell for this!" She shouts in warning at the relentless redhead. 

As they argue, Waverly tries her best to maintain her host image, quickly telling the camera "She is correct, if you are not willing to let loose all the heat, not even the devil would want your chilli!" 

"Wynonna! The chilli is burning me. I will die if you don't let me have it. " Nicole says, clutching the bottle tightly. 

"Well there you have it folks, chilli is so good people can die if they do not have it! Yet another reason for you to make a proper chilli!" Waverly shouts frantically at the camera, looking positively wild. Her hair had come slightly undone and tendrils were flying everywhere with the erratic movements accompanying her words. 

Wynonna relents, letting Nicole have the bottle of whiskey. Then she turns, finally noticing the ingredients on the table. 

"Ooh! Are you making chilli?" She says, voice full of excitement. Then she spots something, grabs it and moves towards Waverly. 

We watch in horror as she dumps the piece of cheese into the pot. She then looks at the audience proudly. "Always put the cheese in first folks!" Then she winks at the camera. The last thing we see is Waverly making a desperate launch for the camera before the screen goes black.


End file.
